Part 7

Well what can I say I have been a busy busy bee hence neglecting the blog, I do apologise! But that does mean that this will be an extended version, so get a brew and make yourself comfortable!!

So much has happened since half term firstly work has been crazy, with primary reports, then secondary reports, trips to Nairobi, fixtures, sports days and interhouse so literally my feet haven’t touched the ground! But I will try to write from the start so we had just finished a relaxing half term when I posted my last blog!!

Although I haven’t really had much time for exploring restaurants and places etc. I did go out for dinner with a group of people at the end of half term, now, trying to find somewhere suitable for vegetarians someone with a dairy allergy and just generally fussy people made deciding on a restaurant quite tricky. After 20 minutes of standing discussing options everyone pretty much agreed on Hollywood bites (sounded interesting) I then heard the expletive!! VEGETARIAN!!! For those of u who don’t know I don’t like vegetables I mean I am trying but seriously the thought of someone opening a vegetarian restaurant just seems totally ludicrous to me but I didn’t want to spend the next 20 minutes trying to find somewhere different so I kept quiet and decided to broaden my horizons!! 3 of us decided to share 3 dishes to add a bit of variety (well secretly it just meant I had more chance of liking something!!)  To my amazement it was actually a really nice meal – despite looking like baby sick I was so proud of myself!

Since my last blog I’ve also been house sitting – twice in fact! I am looking after 2 dogs who are lovely and I get to escape the noise of mtwapa, enjoy sleeping with ac on and watch TLC (trashy TV channel but I obviously love it!) it has made me realise that after finding a car that moving house could possibly be my next challenge!! I have moments where I really have to pinch myself – I took the dogs for a walk along the beach; glorious sunshine, peaceful dogs and then realising it’s the end of November!!

The following weekend  there was Halloween house party – what I love about here is that that pretty much automatically means a pool party! I was the most drunk I’ve been in a long time but was an absolute hoot although I have been told off for taking my usual casual attitude regarding getting home after deciding to walk home (despite not knowing where I was) and then getting a lift home off pretty much a total stranger - not good I know – but I have learnt my lesson. It’s not my fault that I believe everyone is as friendly as me!! J

The following weekend I had to take another trip to Nairobi, this time with an U13 and U11 rounders teams. 18 girls, 2 staff, a 24 seater bus and a heap of luggage made for an interesting journey!! I mean I’ve grown up with 2 sisters I know how they can over pack but you have seen nothing like it the kids were bringing massive suitcases for 4 days the bus was jam packed, kids were spewing, it took 11 hours to get there and  I still didn’t see any animals on the way!! L However we did go to the safari walk on the Friday and I saw hippos and rhinos, lions, leopards, cheetahs, elands, crocs and albino zebras!!  We then headed to the tournament on sat; I always forget that although it is much cooler in Nairobi the sun is still working its magic so although I wore a fleece pretty much all day I still burnt my face so bizarre! I also finally got to use an old saying in true effect- I had ants in my pants!! I kid you not I could feel like a sharp pain on my hip I thought it was the corner of Velcro on my shorts pocket but it was a massive ant biting me surprising how painful that can be, amused me though as the field we were playing on was massive and there were ants everywhere and there was 1 man walking around with 2 cans of doom spraying the ground, I have no idea how he thought that that would be in anyway effective. The journey back on Sunday had all the same problems as the way there apart from more kids puking the increase in temperature as you approach Mombasa and then parents not picking their children up on time!! Such a lovely way to spend the weekend oh and I almost forgot to mention the fact that we all had to camp in 1 big room which meant getting woke up about 5 times every night with children wanting to go to the toilet but who were too scared to walk down the 4 flights of stairs to get there!!! Needless to say I was relieved to return home!!

The following weekend was another busy one; I had planned a trip with a friend to go car hunting on saturday! I had made some appointments to see some cars in town and thank god I took my friend along with me I had absolutely no idea!! The first car looked to me to be ok however it had apparently clearly been rolled, has several bumps and scrapes and had been re-sprayed!! We then moved on to look at a few others which all turned out to be pretty much the same story so we headed for home with me beginning  to slip into a childlike tantrum!! (Unbelievable I know) As the friend I was with was hosting a party that evening we headed to the butchers and supermarket to get some supplies where we stumbled upon an advertisement for a car! He was keen to call and find out more I had already admitted defeat and was pretty sure it would be a waste of time! He called the number and discovered the car was just round the corner so despite having minimal time we went along to have a look. To my amazement I fell in love instantly! All the other cars we had seen had been filthy, battered and uncharismatic! However this 1 was sparkling, new tyres, newly upholstered, low kilometres and just well looked after and to top it all off was below my budget!!!! Woohoo we have a car!! It was just all the bits after that took an absolute age like checking all the paper work, paying, getting insurance and a vehicle transfer document, so although I have owned the car for about 3 weeks now I only got to drive it away last Friday!! But I am finally on the road and it feels amazing!! After help from my Facebook friend I christen her Delilah!!!! We’ve already had a very near escape with a crazy matatu driver but hopefully this is the start of a positive relationship!!! I am very fond of the saying treat them mean keep them keen however I am going to make an allowance this time and treat her very well!!

So where was I…. before I got overly excited about me car!! Oh yes – after shaking on the deal we were even later for the party- house cooling – 70’s kind of porn star theme good food, good company and a trip down memory lane by doing cheerleading basket toss somersaults in the swimming pool!!! Good times.

That then gave us 1 week to prepare for the next fancy dress party!! A pirate party the following weekend up at Kilifi Boatyard! I feel like a big kid fancy dress parties galore I love it just a shame there are no quick easy fancy dress shops I’m feeling I should have raided Scarborough’s tacky fancy dress shops before I left!! Dam it! Oh well I managed to throw an outfit together and once again ended up a little bit more than tipsy and in doing so suddenly believed I was the best photographer ever known to mankind!! The evidence of this suggests something very different!! A very good night though!

No more time for partying though as we had approached the long awaited week of … PANTO!!! Technical rehearsal on the Sunday, dress rehearsal on the Monday in front of an African orphanage who had absolutely no idea what was going on but we were finally ready for our opening night on Wednesday!! By Tuesday I was feeling ill, quite literally and was beginning to panic that I would actually be bed ridden by the performance (I’m sure some of the audience wish I had been) but in  true professional form the show must go on so we did 3 performances 1 Wednesday 1 Thursday and 1 Friday! It actually went very well and despite a lot of adlibbing and probably too much alcohol for some people the shows went really well, someone even made a video so for those people who are desperate to lose their hearing and 2 hours of their lives that they will never get back I may allow you a viewing of my little red riding hood performance. By the end of the 3 shows my immune system had decided that enough was enough and about 2 hours after finishing I started to lose my voice which for me is a catastrophe! After a party night Friday to celebrate a few of us decided to carry on celebrating on Saturday but in a much more refined style! We treated ourselves to a nice meal out at the Tamarind restaurant which is a well renowned restaurant in Mombasa. The food was amazing I had ostrich liver pate for starter followed by balsamic glazed duckling! After weeks of Weetabix and dried mango my taste buds were so grateful!

I can’t believe we are now into December and Christmas is only around the corner. Christmas is not so commercialised here so it is very easy to forget. It has been so nice not being involved in the Christmas shopping rat race this year!! I am now really looking forward to Christmas, I am prepared to find it difficult, this is the longest I have ever been away from my family and obviously not been at home for Christmas is a big thing but I think I have the next best thing! A day of sunbathing by the pool with a heap of people in the same situation as me, good food (even a Christmas dinner) secret Santa, watching the sunset, drinking and no doubt chaos, it will be an interesting experience!!

I still have many plans to fit in there’s so much I want to see and do, I am definitely hoping to go on Safari over the Christmas break, I want to climb mount Kenya at some point, I would like to visit Uganda next year and most importantly my mum and dad have booked their flights and are visiting in the Easter holidays!! I have also created a bucket list – all the things I would like to do before I die, so If anyone has any suggestions please send them my way!!!

I can honestly say that this experience is the best thing I have ever done, looking back one of the main reasons I moved abroad was probably not the best one but the outcome could not have been any better!! I now realise that some people are never truly the people you think they are and are happy to plod through life making excuses! I am not one of those people, I have realised how resilient I am, how independent and although I know I’m known for my moaning I can honestly say I have nothing in life to moan about!! I see poverty every day, but I see poverty stricken people doing anything in their power to earn their keep, people here turn their hands to anything to make some money rather than sitting at home feeling sorry for themselves claiming benefits! It’s a shame some people can’t reflect on life a little bit more and rather than being destructive and selfish realise that every decision they make has implications on other people and words can be so cheap!!!

Final thought:

I am quite sure that the brew will have either gone cold or been supped by now so I will leave part 7 here!! I wish you all a very merry Christmas!! Enjoy your family and friends!!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Part 6

Firstly I’d like to say a massive congratulations to 2 very very good friends Sabrina and Jen (and their husbands) who have both recently given birth, welcome to the world Eva and Charlie can’t wait to meet you both!!!

Right where to start, I’m currently on half term so should technically be sitting by the pool being fanned by a male model whilst sipping cocktails but ….. It won’t stop raining!!! So instead I’m writing part 6!!

Had a really hectic couple of weeks with lots of work and not much play L had a rounder’s tournament one weekend so il covo until 5.30am the night before probably wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had! But after a 40 minute snooze I rocked up to the bus with my usual bossy teacher tones and managed to umpire 9 rounder’s matches in sweltering heat without vomming or passing out!! Go me!! My team even managed to come 2^nd- what can I say it must be down to the coaching they have received!!

 I am showing great teacher dedication out here and had a fixture for the full weekend the week after my rounder’s tournament! This one included 10 kids on a coach for 10 hours to Nairobi – I know what you’re thinking … absolute hell ….surprisingly not – the kids slept for the first couple of hours – then we discussed a whole range of topics from films to books, politics to religion. Then we whacked on the top 40 (provided by their cool PE teacher  ... – that would be me in case you were wondering) and sang the rest of the way!! No moaning, no having to shout at kids, no swearing (them not me obviously) the easiest school bus trip I’ve ever had.  The road to Nairobi also takes you past loads of game reserves so apparently you quite often see zebras at the side of the road etc.  I however did not but I did see some baboons the size of lions!! I have another fixture there in a few weeks so hopefully I’ll spot some animals then!!

The Nairobi trip was a gifted and talented sports festivals for all the braeburn schools – the event was great I was a team manager but to be honest the teams pretty much ran themselves! I was just pleased to get free T-shirts! The weather in Nairobi is pretty different to here, around midday it’s really hot and dry plus Nairobi is at a much higher altitude but in the evening and early morning its much cooler I actually got to wear my hoody which was quite nice and because I wasn’t in ridiculous humidity my hair didn’t look like Monica from friends after I washed it!!This was amazing – even if the water was yellow!!I did have a slight mishap with the shower, a mishap that I’m sure all of you would have had too – ok imagine 2 taps under a shower 1 is a silver tap with a little blue dot on it, 1 is a big red cog thing – which is the hot tap??? Yep the blue one!!! Figures – Not! Overall the weekend was great, I learnt loads of Swahili from the kids, so I’m making my own little phrase book and I even got flown back on Sunday evening so I was back in time for the primary inspections on the Monday! But it was the smallest, noisiest plane I have ever been on in my life!

Which brings me to inspection week – Basically the primary and secondary get inspected separately – I’m a secondary trained teacher – the inspection was primary and …. EARLY YEARS!!! Mombasa is a coastal town – known for its sunny climates, I mean my school doesn’t even have an indoor PE space just a little assembly/drama room … it RAINED all week so as a PE teacher getting inspected it was quite difficult, but overall the school did really well and got great feedback and comments. Thank god they did not inspect my Reception lesson – total chaos!!

Unfortunately it has rained pretty much solidly for a week now which is getting rather depressing especially when it’s half term! However I did have the most amazing day yesterday!!

Woke up – Sunny – Jumped out of bed (for a change)

2 hours – by the pool – lounging

Phone call – invitation to go out on the creek in a boat – accepted

Boat – amazing

Weather – amazing

Topped off by having my first wakeboarding lesson – absolutely amazing. It really made me realise how much I like to learn something new, think that’s why I’ve been trying to learn so much Swahili.  It was so nice to try something totally new, which means when you are successful (and believe me it took quite a few attempts) it makes it so much more satisfying! Getting up on the board was the hard part but apparently letting go of the rope is hard for someone like me too, hence why my forearm muscles got shredded, as I was falling off I forgot to let go which meant the rope attached to the boat pulled me in one direction whilst my board pulled me in the other – ouch! My hands were actually paralysed for 23 seconds! But if at first you don’t succeed and all that!! So I got back on loved every minute of it.  Some people will be pleased to hear that during this trip I decided to leave off the sun cream on my feet so I can try and even out the tan – I think it worked!!

I then had a lovely girly evening, 1 of the girls cooked for 5 of us, the food was amazing – my mum will be so proud ….as even the vegetables were amazing I think I might ask her for some recipes!! We drank wine played a funny game and as is pretty much standard out here I got ripped for the way I speak!! I do keep reminding them that I’m quite posh but they seem to find that amusing! I can think of a few friends and family who would be interesting to bring out here!! You know who you are!!!!!

Well another great few days I got out on the boat again for some more sunshine and wakeboarding and I’m definitely improving – despite taking a few face plants into the water giving myself whiplash and a severe winding!! Remind me why I do this again!! Plus I definitely got stung by a jellyfish seriously that creek as some crazy animals inhabiting! But it’s not too bad just itchy so no before anyone asks I did not wee on my own hand!!

On wed I was so exhausted by the time I was getting out of the water – my arms and legs were like jelly and after my forearm shredding the previous session I had minimal strength – getting out of the boat was not pretty I couldn’t physically lift myself out I was swinging around the ladder (smallest ladder in the world) looking pathetic when I squashed my finger between 2 pieces of mental with my entire body weight!! Soo painful!! If I weighed 2 pounds more I think my finger would have snapped in 2!

Thursday 4 of us went to Kilifi for the day we started at the beach flying this massive kite that looked like it would lift me off the ground with a slight breeze and then we headed to the boatyard for lunch and then in the evening I experienced my first sundowner – now I had no idea what this entailed and still not sure if tonight was a typical “sundowner”. Anyway this one involved lots of people on boats meeting in the creek, tie the boats together, drink and watch the most beautiful sunset!! Stunning!!

Friday I went to the market – you have to have your wits about you so I rocked up with my hidden bum bag looking too cool but got some absolute bargains!!! You think Primark is cheap ….! I have bought some Kanga material so hoping to get a few items made no doubt for some ridiculously low price! I bought some handmade flip flops with beading and shells on the other day and they cost me less than £5!!

Not much more to tell really, still searching for a car, pantomime is going well, I’m house sitting for the next 2 weeks which should be good as they have a house guy who is there most of the day so he will hopefully help me cook etc. will report back on any successes.

Final Thought – I actually love my life! I have moments of needing to pinch myself just to make sure it’s real!!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Part 5

I am writing this as a method of distraction having been eaten alive by mosquitos yesterday in my own home!! Little monkeys!! I was actually doing very well on the bite front– some might even say I was a little cocky having only had about 10 in total in 4 weeks; however the mosquitos must have caught wind of this and decided it was time to teach me a lesson – 28 bites in 1 day!!!! Today all I want to do is scratch them out unfortunately that would involve scratching 28 holes in my skin and therefore probably not a wise idea – instead I’m sitting with a wet flannel covering about 4 bites feeling very sorry for myself!!

Apart from the current close to death, dramatized bite issue everything is going great here, I continue to feel settled and meet new and interesting people. I have even had my first camping experience – much too many peoples amusement out here my organisational skills were second to none. We went to Kilifi for the weekend as there were quite a few people competing in a triathlon. I was sensible and went along as team photographer using having no bike as an excuse not to compete. The day was great fun, what’s not to like Lycra, sunshine and alcohol!!?.  There was then an after party at the boatyard with a tame jazz band followed by a surprisingly impressive DJ.  Well I say that but I think it has more to do with the fact I haven’t really heard music in 4 weeks, I found myself dancing and singing along to songs that normally in the UK I can’t stand but when you don’t heard music they suddenly become the best songs you’ve ever heard!.

One of the best things about Mombasa and the people I have met is that there is no judgement I found myself feeling really shy dancing on sand in bare feet without my 6inch heels and circle of 7 girlies to back me up, however anything goes here I was soon dancing my socks off and even been taught some rock and roll!! All in all a funny night until, that was we had to drive back to the campsite. I clearly chose the wrong car to travel in 1. We got lost 2. We got scared 3. We locked ourselves in the car!! The guy driving was worse than I was for thinking of the worst case scenario especially knowing we were then going to have to sleep in tents in the outdoors –not a good start!! Anyhow we had pitched our tents earlier and as most the guys that were camping had done the triathlon they were out for the count leaving me alone in my tent with my own thoughts!! Hence why I barely slept! We woke early and just caught the sun rising over the sea which was beautiful. I rocked out of my tent in my full length pjs (protecting me from mosquitos) which everyone seemed to find amusing considering the heat, one guy then mentioned a sleep mask and ear plugs to which I replied I had managed to hold off until about 3am but then they had come in handy – he laughed and then looked at me blankly this is when I had realised that he had actually been joking and I had actually been serious – I explained I had brought my doom and pre-sprayed my tent, brought toilet roll and a bottle of water to brush my teeth with!! I don’t think I’ve really got this whole camping thing down yet but hey ho!!! We then went to one of the guys houses for a cooked breakfast – Amazing!! His house is lovely and just made me feel like I was living in a squat!

Work is going well but every week is getting closer to the summer months so getting hotter and hotter. I have my first rounders fixtures next week including a Saturday fixtureL.  We had respect day on Friday which I had been asked to help organise with 5 others. Four periods off teaching where we mixed year groups and gave them six activities to rotate around – not a single moan, groan or complaint from any pupil about any activity – bliss!! We then have international day all day on Monday which is French day including French snacks and a French lunch!! Can’t complain!!  Still getting used to teaching the little ones I have a class of 3 year olds who take everything literally so I have to reign in my sarcasm and heighten my enthusiastic tones.

Pantomime rehearsals are also going well I have to do a lot of gazing into my princes eyes which isn’t easy but I’m starting to learn my lines and have a song rehearsal on Monday which could be tragic!! I just want to see what I have to wear!! If my previous experience has anything to go by I always had the worst costumes – well apart from the vegetable dance!! Surely little red riding hood has to have nice outfits??? We’ll see and I’m sure there will be pictures to follow at some point.

Thursday was an interesting evening after deciding to go for a “short run” with a marathon runner (we have differing ideas of short runs – however unfortunately I found this out during and not  before) which was actually really good apart from my right hip feeling like a 90 year olds. I returned home hoping to have a nice shower and chill out whilst researching some early years planning – however I returned home to no electricity – apparently power cuts out here a frequent but yet again I was getting cocky and hadn’t experienced anything more than 5 minutes – whilst shopping the other week I was advised to buy some more candles and some dishes to stand them on etc. – Me being me decided this was unnecessary, until Thurs when I had candle wax everywhere – maybe next time I will take note to kind advice!!!

Had my first proper night out on Friday I had just intended to go to la marina for a couple of drinks but ended at the local “club” Il Covo for some flaming Sambuca’s, dancing (including my typical dance off) and lots of sweaty people in quite a small place. Girls you’ll be pleased to know that despite the bar being small there is always room for a pole!!Amazing! I arrived home at some ungodly hour in the morning around 5am! But was all good fun again nice to hear some music, some of my old Uni friends will be pleased to hear that since been out here I have heard Peter Andre twice and I didn’t even have to request it!! These nights always bring a good mix of people, at La marina there’s 21 year olds – 90 year olds it’s great.  I even managed to meet someone who I can do a scuba diving course with and a pilot who takes people for sky diving so hopefully I can book both those things and tick them off my bucket list!!

Well now I have bought some antihistamines so hopefully my itching will stop soon! I will leave part 5 here and hope that I have some more exciting experiences soon rather than the mundane mosquito and work stories that have filled this blog.

Oh and my house girl is getting on very well- I love the fact she makes my bed don’t think my bed’s been properly made since 2004 when I left home to go to Uni!!

Final thought:

‘You know you’re in a great place when you’re travelling dangerously, in a Matatu, in the dark listening to ace of base full volume!’

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Part 4

For those people who only read this blog to hear tales of my misfortune you are going to be very disappointed with part 4 I’m afraid!! The most traumatic thing to happen over the last few days is being rudely awoken at 4am on a sat with excruciating cramp in my calf after a nice evening run. I have never woken up so quickly in my life!! FACT! Apart from that and been accosted by the same guy on the way to the supermarket again – just so he could tell me he found a nice German girl who would have her photo taken (more fool her), and that he had been paid £50 by someone and wanted to know how much that was (I’m sure he must think I work in some kind of post office and know all about currency exchange rates!) Being the cunning girl I am I managed to sneak past him on the opposite side of the road and on the way back! (Although I don’t know how inconspicuous a musungu (white person) wearing bright purple, amongst a lot of black people wearing pretty dark colours is but I managed it!! But that’s about as traumatic as it had got until this Wednesday – I will reveal more later!

I spent most of my second week in school prepping for the start of term, Monday was pretty surreal, no real direction –rather than whole school meetings staff just pretty much get on with their own thing, there’s no signing in or out and everything appears quite relaxed and informal. We found ourselves locked out of every PE area, which wasn’t such a great start and meant Monday was pretty unproductive. Tuesday I spent the day in blazing heat emptying the entire store cupboard after seeing it was a complete tip! I find it so frustrating that people don’t like throwing things out even when totally broken and unusable! But we managed to get it looking ship shape, but it meant I was covered in dust, sweaty and burnt my hands picking up javelins that had lain on the grass for an hour!!! Wednesday was Eid so was a public holiday – bonus – but in true holiday form it rained pretty much all day!! But I did attend ‘volleyball’ again which was good, getting to know people a little bit better!

I took a trip to the mutumba market at the weekend which is an experience, very busy, very dirty, and very smelly and apparently I have a lot of Kenyan brothers that I wasn’t aware of, but some absolute bargains to be had. I got some nice throws to brighten up my living room and you can buy pretty much anything you need from there – unfortunately I didn’t need very much as I had had a phone call informing me my freight had arrived – very exciting times, so I jumped on a tuk tuk (A little shed on 3 wheels, with a lawn mower for an engine) and headed home for my delivery.  I had some exciting surprises’ in my freight in the form of a picture calendar of me and all my friends and sisters etc. on different months and a good luck teddy courtesy of Mrs East which was great and has really made my flat look more lived in!

I then had the most perfect evening – I mean in the UK I wouldn’t even sit in MacDonald’s on my own but here is so non-judgemental and it’s more acceptable to do things on your own so I took a stroll down to la marina, a local restaurant on the creek, got my table for one overlooking the Creek, read my book whilst waiting for my food and watched the sunset!! It was so peaceful and relaxing.

I then took my first trip south and went to Kilifi on Sunday to another Creek area, which is gorgeous and has a floating boathouse!!! Think I’m heading there again this weekend but unfortunately not to lie on the beach but to do a 5k run and a swim round some boats – joyful!

As it has taken me a while to write this blog I have now officially started work and completed my first week of teaching! So as I write this I am laying on my sofa preparing for an afternoon nap!! This week has been great the secondary pupils are amazing so enthusiastic, inquisitive and welcoming it is very refreshing to feel respected and appreciated by all pupils rather than just a handful!! The primary and early year’s kids are going to take some getting used to – I spent 15 mins explaining what standing next to something meant and trying to get them to understand that that is different to standing behind something! They just look at you blankly!! But sure I’ll get used to it!!  Just as they’ll have to get used to my accent!!! I rocked up to my first lesson – year 3/4 – starting taking the register – first name – Luck – I called out her name, repeated it then asked if she was absent – all the pupils were pointing at one girl when I asked her if she was Luck she responded with ‘no my names Luck’ (pronounced Lack – posh for luck in my opinion!! I’m sure she’d pronounce muck – mack!!) I kindly explained that where I’m from its Luck! So tough luck!!! Don’t think she got it!!!

I am definitely over the whole monkeys at school thing, I find myself walking around with my hands up looking like I’m surrendering to the police just to prove I have no food in my hands!! It’s pathetic, much to the amusement of the staff and kids, I actually jumped out of my seat the other day when someone nudged the bench in the Banda, where everyone eats lunch, and I was convinced it was a monkey coming for my water melon!!

A definite plus of moving here is the lifestyle change, I’m used to devouring a share bag of Galaxy minstrels every 2 days and eating endless biscuits in the staffroom at work, before returning home to watch TV for the whole evening whilst eating some more junk food! Whereas here all snacks are fruit, and I’m so much more motivated to do exercise so I run 2/3 times a week and stayed behind after school to do some lengths in the pool!

So we finally arrive to Wednesday just when I thought I had seen the last of totally random and surreal events. I again attended volleyball, however was told a heap of us (including me apparently) were going along to a pantomime meeting – there’s a strong sense of community here and a lot of people are involved in these types of thing, so on my way there I was discussing how I could be involved, maybe help with any dance choreography, costumes etc. However with everything in Africa we were late (you hear pole pole a lot here which means slowly!! And it sure is) Anyhow we arrived at the venue and everyone was sat in a circle with scripts!!! By then it was too late to turn around and scarper so we sat quietly hoping not to be noticed too much – I was reassured that a lot of the older people are experienced and do the plays a lot so they’ll take up the main roles and then we can discuss our interests in backstage duties!!! Unfortunately not getting noticed didn’t happen and we soon found ourselves reading parts and singing along to Abba!!! All was well until they started going around the group getting people to sing solo! NOOOOOOOO!! Seriously I haven’t sung in public since I was 14 and sang The Corrs runaway on karaoke whilst on holiday wearing age 4/5 bright yellow dungaree shorts!! (Yep I was cool) I left the mic feeling proud only to hear my dad utter “oh well that was a hard song!” Translating into “oh my god that was terrible it sounded like you were killing cats”. Anyhow after the entire room had sang I felt pressurised to squawk out ‘Gimme gimme gimme’ whilst feeling my face turn crimson!! They did that horrible thing when you sing in groups and someone walks behind you listening to you sing a song which is far too high pitched. Which then just makes you more nervous so then you end up squeaky with a certain nervous shake to you voice! We continued with the “audition” whilst also ordering food and praying it would finish soon so we could eat!! We were informed we would receive a text message (very 21^st century) letting us know if/what part we got, I felt we we’re safe. That was until during our meal Ann (one of the organisers) bounced over with scripts!! Members of NADA or NADS (don’t actually ever think it was abbreviated like that and probably for good reason) Northallerton Amateur Dramatics Association/Society will be proud to know, that all that time with Mo and Alan and the rest of the crew has paid off, as for some ridiculous crazy reason after 2 and a half weeks of been here I have landed myself the lead role in little red riding hood!!! Ha-ha RIDICULOUS!! I didn’t even need my mum to come along and pay them as a kind of child minding service! All that can be said is they must have very low expectations and the pantomime obviously doesn’t pull in too much of a crowd!! If only Daddy Creel was here to show me the ways!

Well times are definitely changing from spending my first evening petrified of bugs to now realising that I had boiled one inside my pasta – which may of laid eggs but realising I’d gone too far too much effort and was too hungry to throw it away so just removed the bug infested piece and carried on regardless!! I also now have a house girl – which makes me feel really guilty but I have to keep reminding myself I’m putting back into the economy and giving someone some income, but then I feel like I’m robbing her blind when she is coming to my flat 2 afternoons a week to wash clothes, mop floors and generally clean up and I’m paying her 600Ksh which is less than £5!

I am also trying to learn the lingo so I have included just a few useful Swahili terms – obviously I’m all about education so a lesson had to come in at some point!!! Swahili is actually a language that kind of makes sense – its phonetic which is great and every word ends in a vowel, also the emphasis is always on the 2^nd to last syllable!  

Jambo – Hello

Asante Sana – Thank you very much (which means the lion kings – “asante sana squashed banana” doesn’t make much sense)

Sina Pessa – I have no money

Tafadhali – Please

Sowa – ok

Lala salama – sweet dreams

Habari Gani – how are you?

Mzuri – fine

Final thought …..

I have spoken with someone in terms of getting involved with a charity that works with a local school to help provide equipment etc. – so anyone looking for a worthy charity bear me in mind please (especially you Raincliffe lot) as I can actually guarantee and oversee the work that will be going on.  They are grateful of any equipment, textbooks; stationary etc. so doesn’t have to be money. So any of you teachers if your school are ever getting rid of old textbooks please don’t let them throw them out!! – Check me out Mother Theresa after 3 weeks – it was always going to happen!!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Part 3

Firstly I would like to state that everything that goes into this blog is 100% factual! I’m saying that as you’re probably all thinking that it’s all a little farfetched and that this all can’t happen to one person in one week! But believe me it can and it has!!

Unfortunately before I can reveal my first trauma (obviously) I have to give some boring background info so bear with me! I had the small task this morning of going to the bank to collect my bank card – I was going along with my head of department (who is also new) and his wife and 2 young children. We arrived at the bank only to be told we would have to come back later surprise surprise! Anyway as Tom only had his passport and not his wife’s he would have to return home to collect it.  So myself and his wife decided to take the kids to one of the little nature parks, as it has a children’s play area. It’s a beautiful place with plenty to see and different trails for walking, cycling, jogging etc. Anyway the children got hungry and their mum had brought some snacks along for them so we sat at a picnic bench whilst they ate their … BANANAS – Yes I’m sure you all know what’s coming!!! We were swarmed by monkey one of which jumped on the child and grabbed his banana! We’re then frantically trying to get the monkey off him and he’s understandably crying and we’re in total disbelief – a true monkey attack!!! I swear there were about 9 monkeys surrounding us - edging closer – I tried all noise tactics to try and scare them off (none of which actually worked) eventually the child who the monkey attacked started screaming “go away you naughty monkeys” which actually did the trick – why didn’t I think of that – instead of the clapping and hissing and scatting I was trying!! Anyway I think you’d all agree a lesson well learnt!! To top off the day we went back to the bank only to wait for another hour for people to pretend our cards weren’t ready when they actually were, I think they just know British people are impatient so they are trying to instil some in us from the start!!!

Believe it or not I then managed to have a couple of uneventful days spent sunbathing by the pool, even managed an early morning run to the ACTUAL beach and back (I now know the actual beach is only the 10mins away that I was originally told!!) I went to the local for a couple of drinks on Friday night – the local is a bar where you sit outside on the street, on garden furniture. We bought a medium bottle of Smirnoff vodka for £3 or something ridiculous!! I then headed out to my first party on sat night! The theme was colourfully absurd, bearing in mind I was gate crashing I played it safe and stuck to the colourful.  I needn’t have bothered with the playing it safe part we arrived at this stunning house (his parents) to be greeted by a guy in a fluorescent leotard and another guy (the birthday boy) staggering (at 4pm) wearing an all in 1 turquoise lycra cat suit!! This was a good opportunity to meet new people and get to know the regular “volleyball” crew. All in all a good party! I’m still concerned that although drink driving is not legal here, everyone does it, as police have no way of measuring blood alcohol content.

I had a trip to the Nyali beach on Sunday which is a lovely white beach and plenty to see and do, I love how resourceful Kenyan people are they all use old car inner tyres as inflatable rings in the sea which look great fun!!

I was starting to think how boring this blog must be without as many stupid or freaky moments however I forgot the story where I actually threatened to hit a man with my mop!!! I know I sound ridiculous but it was the only thing I had on me that might resemble a weapon!! Anyway the story goes … I took a walk to the local supermarket to pick up a mop and bucket and few other items – and really just to fill my day!! Now, where I live is very quiet and very safe however, when you get on to the main road in Mtwapa that’s where you tend to get the begging or the people trying to sell you things etc.!! As a newbie I am very cautious about people in general so when I was approached by a man talking about money I presumed he was asking for some and brushed him off (I know I’m a terrible person who will go to hell!!!) anyway apparently he wasn’t asking for money but trying to find out how much 50euro was in shillings. I explained I had no idea, apologised and got on my way! (Checking I had not just been pick pocketed!) Only to be followed into the shop later with another story – his friend who just happens to be the president’s son saw us talking and apparently wanted a picture of me – I explained I was doing my shopping and would like to be left in peace – he left telling me he’d wait for me outside –Brilliant! - I spent as long as possible wandering the aisles of a fairly small shop (there’s only so long you can do that for without starting to look dodgy and suspicious yourself!). I paid for my shopping and tried to discreetly make a bit of a run for it (well a fast walk) I didn’t get far before he was shouting after me “hey English” he caught up with me and pleaded with me to have a photo with his friend so he could get a job, I politely declined (bearing in mind Mtwapa has a thriving sex trade, I had visions of me being the new face for some seedy bar or as some pimps new income!) I told him how unlikely it was his friend was the president’s son and how if he was his friend he would just give him the job- he then proceeded to point out his friend who was also following me! Now I kid you not this guy look like a vagrant, I have absolutely nothing against tramps and I don’t know much about Kenyan politics but what I do know is they are corrupt and generally take all the money for themselves rather than putting it back into the country! (So rather like British politicians!) So I’m guessing they are not likely to be wearing a ripped shirt buttoned up wrong, only have 2 front yellow teeth, be walking the streets of Mtwapa on their own, and be wearing car tyres for shoes!! Anyway I pretty much explained this to the guy now trying to hold me hostage by physically grabbing my arm which only made me more determined not to get entangled in the façade! He continued to become very persistent and his grip tightened on my arm! As I was threatening to hit him with my mop, if he did not let go of me he told me “me and you are like brother and sister” ‘Hell no!!! We are far from that thank you.’  By this point he/I was making quite a scene so a car pulled up with some very kind Asian men who told him in no polite terms to do one!! I eventually escaped his grasp and he had the cheek to tell me “you have let me down, English girls are nice girls and you don’t want me to get a job”. I with my mop and bucket left feeling no remorse!!!

So this week I start work – well meetings etc. so I’m not sure I’m going to have much to write about for a while … we shall see!!!

Final thought …….

5 things I am missing from home (apart from people)

1.       Food – Garthway bacon butties, chicken parmo, fajitas, chocolate, and cheese to name a few!!

2.       Television – Sad I know

3.       A proper working shower

4.       My IPhone - a Nokia 1800 doesn’t cut it

5.       A washing machine/microwave (technically 2 but thought they both came under appliances??)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Part 2

Well didn’t think I’d be writing for a while as I knew there wasn’t much planned for us this week, however I’m quickly becoming to realise that Stephanie Goodall – living in Kenya - there’s always going to be story or trauma ha!!

Only been here 5 days and it is overwhelming how welcoming everybody is, wherever you go locals always say hello/welcome (Jambo/Karibu) some then do try to sell you something but generally everyone just wants you to feel welcomed and I guess it is polite to speak to people– they would certainly have a shock if they visited London, where people don’t speak to anyone ever! your lucky if you get a grunt!!!!

You’ll be all pleased to know that since my first traumatic night of bug fest, nights have calmed down massively and I haven’t seen or heard any large creatures in my room at night, they could obviously just sense my nerves the first night.  However a couple did jump out of my cutlery draw on Tues night and I did return home on Mon to find a Gecko on my wall!!! Apparently they are good things to have as they eat all the bugs, but it’s still not nice thinking of where it could turn up so I chased it across the wall with a broom – I don’t know how it got in or how/if it got out but I at least didn’t have to look at it anymore.  

I’ve come to realise that with my flat I get a personal alarm clock in the form of a cockerel!!! Really annoying – starts at 6ish – sure it will be helpful in term time though!! Every cloud!

Had a meeting at my school all seems lovely I have 7 students in my year 10 GCSE group which is a lot compared to the 2 in year 11! It was very surreal they have something called a ‘Banda’ (I think) which is like a really small covered patio area – it’s tiny but apparently the whole school sits underneath it to eat their lunch! Really puts in to perspective how small the school is! We stood looking at the facilities for a while and were suddenly surrounded by monkeys.  I can only imagine the numbers increasing during term time when there is food and waste etc., definitely something to keep an eye on but I’m still fascinated by them (apparently that wears off).

I have had a few exploring ventures this week, firstly we got taken through Mtwapa (an interesting journey in itself) but we were shown good little market stalls for fruit and veg the one we were recommended was a lady called Katherine she calls me ‘staf’ but she was lovely. I got 5 passion fruits, 2 slices of pineapple, garlic and an orange all for about 50p it’s ridiculous!

After my successful guided trip to the market I decided it was time to venture out on my own, I had been told that there was a small, local beach about 10 mins up the road, I had enquired if it was easy to find – yes, was it safe – yes, could I sit with my ereader without getting mugged – yes!! Excellent, the weather was beautiful so I thought why not! So I packed my bags and off I went – I mean how hard could it really be!!!!

Yes you guessed it – EXTREMELY hard, now let’s not lose the point, I did end up at A beach I just don’t think I ended up at the THE beach that i was supposed to!! The 10 min walk was turning into 40 and everyone I asked assured me I was going in the right direction, I was definitely amongst local Kenyans. I passed houses, went through a forest, building areas, chickens, cows, more local houses, more chickens, I had turned that many corners I was beginning to worry I wouldn’t find my way back, bearing in mind I don’t actually have an address and I didn’t currently have a working Kenyan phone!!! Anyway I eventually, in stifling heats arrived at the beach, well I did have to wade through dry seaweed (which would have gone up to my waist if I had of stepped on the wrong area) just to get to the tiny bit of sand!! There was no-one on the beach which only confirmed that I was definitely not on the lovely, local family beach I had been told about!!! I stayed approximately 5 minutes then panicked I wouldn’t be able to find my way home – which I couldn’t!! I did contemplate a motorbike taxi at one point but 1. I have no address and 2. They don’t have licences!! I eventually remembered the name of a restaurant not far from my flat so used that for directions and found my way home! Phew!!

My next traumatic experience was washing!! Obviously there are no washing machines here so everything has to be hand washed!!My usual hand washing tactic is to leave it in my laundry bag until I’m going home to my parents then ask my mum “Can you help me hand wash this at some point, I’m not sure what I’m doing so can you show me” which normally means by Sunday when I’m leaving it’s, washed, dried, ironed and ready to go!!! Spoilt I know! But I managed to wash a few items I’m still waiting to determine if I actually got the soap out!!

Oh and the gecko that was in my flat …. I found it ….. I tried getting it to run out the door …..Even kicked its tail a little bit …… it looked a bit pale ….IT WAS DEAD!!!!! I then had the horrible task of getting a dead gecko out my flat with a broom!!! Again think it’s the DOOM spray it apparently kills everything!!!! Hmm might try it on the cockerel!!

Well today is Thurs and I think I had my hardest day yest!! The weather was poor, I was stuck in my flat with no mobile, and I could hear a creature somewhere in my shelving unit but in my pathetic state did not dare look for it! (apparently could be wood terminates inside my cupboards as anything else would definitely be dead by now with the amount of doom I have sprayed in there!) I spent most the afternoon crying but did get to watch an episode of Emmerdale that I had downloaded, only problem being I started downloading it on Mon (Mondays episode) by the time it had downloaded I’d missed more episodes ha! Anyway I had been told that wed night was “volleyball” which is in Nyali apparently every weds a group of expats and some Kenyans get together – some guys play volleyball, everyone has a drink and then goes on for food. It was obviously a bit intimidating initially but I was lucky I had been taken along by 2 girls who have lived here for a year so they introduced me to everyone etc.  We went to an Indian for a very cheap tea and then on to the casino!!! Was just what I needed!

So today I felt brave and decided it was time to experience a ‘Matatu’ which is a local mode of transport, it’s a cross between a mini bus and a taxi, generally overcrowded with loud music and terrible driving skills – it cost me 30bob to get to the supermarket in Nyali which is about 20p – Ridiculous, although I did have to share my seat with some kind of air compressor machinery and half a sweaty guy but hey it was 20p I was not complaining!!. I finally managed to get a phone that works and made my way home safely!! A trauma free trip I was very pleased with myself – even treated myself to a bounty chocolate bar not quite the same but almost! I’ve then spent the rest of the day sunbathing by the pool seen as how the weather was so nice. I definitely suffer from that SAD!!

Final thought ‘I’m starting to realise that there is no such thing as feeling clean here!!’

Xxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxX

First Impressions

After a long flight and a 2 hour wait for a visa I got to see Nairobi by night as I was taken to a hotel, unfortunately not a lot to see but it was clear the roads are in need of a resurface!!

I had been warned that Nairobi can be cold at night so I had come prepared, however nothing could really prepare me for how cold it actually was, I was thinking Africa and it was more like the Antartic. I was starting to think I’d picked the wrong continent for my sunny adventure!! Anyhow in the morning I headed back to the airport in my thermals with my driver ‘Steve’. Baring in mind it was only 7am hundreds of people lined the streets all walking/running in the same direction, my driver explained that they were all people from the local slums in kibera who would walk approximately 20km to find work - many making the 20km journey back home again empty handed and hungry!! my first culture shock!

I arrived at the airport in plenty of time, again to be met with more queues, I was quickly realising Africa requires the patience I don’t yet have!

I arrived in Mombasa safely but late something I think I will have to get used too! I was welcomed by my 2 new head teachers’ in their shorts and shades to be informed its actually pretty much winter in Mombasa!! “yesss!!!! This is more like it”. On the way to my flat I was taken on a bit of a tour of Mombasa none of which I can remember but I do know that there is no such thing as road rage in Kenya everything is fair game so people just go with whatever which does mean people just pulling out in front of you or overtaking in any position!! Think I might hold off driving for a while.

I’ve seen my school which looks lovely - very cute, small school with thatched roofs and a lovely swimming pool, and on my way to my flat I saw my first monkey again very cute but from a distance apparently - they are literally ‘cheeky little monkeys’ and thieve and bite!! So no pet monkey like Ross from Friends for me then L

My flat is much bigger than I thought 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen and living room but the amazement wore off slightly when I took a shower under a dribble of cold water!!!! Excellent!!!

Within the first 5 hours of being here I had internet, a new sim card, I’d eaten in a lovely Italian restaurant, been to the supermarket, seen the beach and also seen 5 monkeys, a camel and about 60 goats!! Just a normal day then!!!

My first night was definitely the most traumatic thing so far, I had been busy all day and buzzing about everything, I unpacked sat down to chill and realised how much time TV kills after about 25 games of spider solitaire and 50 games of mahjong I decided an early night was in order!! Well an early night I did not get, to start with I had to learn to sleep with the fan on to stop mosquitos settling but it makes so much noise it makes you think your hearing things, I then had monkeys fighting outside and screeching but worst of all I’m a prisoner in my own bed under a big mosquito net, and still petrified to death!! I went a bit OTT with the fly spray which choked me, little things managed to by-pass the mosquito net and crawl into bed with me and I kid you not the biggest beetle-cockroache thing with wings somehow managed to get in my room I have no idea how there was no way I was sleeping with that in my room mosquito net or no mosquito net!! In the first hour in my bed I must of got up to kill creatures about 14 times after a few tears I managed to convince myself to go to sleep – I actually slept like a baby and when I woke up there were no creatures in my bed and my room looked pretty clear- they were obviously just toying with me the little blighters!!! Although when I pulled back the mosquito net and saw all the dead animals on my floor I realised I’d obviously just choked them all on insect spray!!! Excellent!!

Then out for lunch to another Italian restaurant today with a whole heap of people from school which filled the day nicely and everyone seems lovely, just these long night times to fill – I will have to find a hobby. Got my first meeting in school tomorrow so hopefully will know a little more.

Right I’m signing off for now I’m sure I have bored you enough already final thought 5 biggest changes/culture shocks:

1 – Bedtime bug fest!!!!

2 – seeing monkeys, goats and chickens roaming the streets

3 - brushing my teeth without using a tap as you can only use bottled water

4 – The fact im wearing a vest top and shorts in winter!!

5 – Night time boredom! L

Xxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxx