Part 3

Firstly I would like to state that everything that goes into this blog is 100% factual! I’m saying that as you’re probably all thinking that it’s all a little farfetched and that this all can’t happen to one person in one week! But believe me it can and it has!!

Unfortunately before I can reveal my first trauma (obviously) I have to give some boring background info so bear with me! I had the small task this morning of going to the bank to collect my bank card – I was going along with my head of department (who is also new) and his wife and 2 young children. We arrived at the bank only to be told we would have to come back later surprise surprise! Anyway as Tom only had his passport and not his wife’s he would have to return home to collect it.  So myself and his wife decided to take the kids to one of the little nature parks, as it has a children’s play area. It’s a beautiful place with plenty to see and different trails for walking, cycling, jogging etc. Anyway the children got hungry and their mum had brought some snacks along for them so we sat at a picnic bench whilst they ate their … BANANAS – Yes I’m sure you all know what’s coming!!! We were swarmed by monkey one of which jumped on the child and grabbed his banana! We’re then frantically trying to get the monkey off him and he’s understandably crying and we’re in total disbelief – a true monkey attack!!! I swear there were about 9 monkeys surrounding us - edging closer – I tried all noise tactics to try and scare them off (none of which actually worked) eventually the child who the monkey attacked started screaming “go away you naughty monkeys” which actually did the trick – why didn’t I think of that – instead of the clapping and hissing and scatting I was trying!! Anyway I think you’d all agree a lesson well learnt!! To top off the day we went back to the bank only to wait for another hour for people to pretend our cards weren’t ready when they actually were, I think they just know British people are impatient so they are trying to instil some in us from the start!!!

Believe it or not I then managed to have a couple of uneventful days spent sunbathing by the pool, even managed an early morning run to the ACTUAL beach and back (I now know the actual beach is only the 10mins away that I was originally told!!) I went to the local for a couple of drinks on Friday night – the local is a bar where you sit outside on the street, on garden furniture. We bought a medium bottle of Smirnoff vodka for £3 or something ridiculous!! I then headed out to my first party on sat night! The theme was colourfully absurd, bearing in mind I was gate crashing I played it safe and stuck to the colourful.  I needn’t have bothered with the playing it safe part we arrived at this stunning house (his parents) to be greeted by a guy in a fluorescent leotard and another guy (the birthday boy) staggering (at 4pm) wearing an all in 1 turquoise lycra cat suit!! This was a good opportunity to meet new people and get to know the regular “volleyball” crew. All in all a good party! I’m still concerned that although drink driving is not legal here, everyone does it, as police have no way of measuring blood alcohol content.

I had a trip to the Nyali beach on Sunday which is a lovely white beach and plenty to see and do, I love how resourceful Kenyan people are they all use old car inner tyres as inflatable rings in the sea which look great fun!!

I was starting to think how boring this blog must be without as many stupid or freaky moments however I forgot the story where I actually threatened to hit a man with my mop!!! I know I sound ridiculous but it was the only thing I had on me that might resemble a weapon!! Anyway the story goes … I took a walk to the local supermarket to pick up a mop and bucket and few other items – and really just to fill my day!! Now, where I live is very quiet and very safe however, when you get on to the main road in Mtwapa that’s where you tend to get the begging or the people trying to sell you things etc.!! As a newbie I am very cautious about people in general so when I was approached by a man talking about money I presumed he was asking for some and brushed him off (I know I’m a terrible person who will go to hell!!!) anyway apparently he wasn’t asking for money but trying to find out how much 50euro was in shillings. I explained I had no idea, apologised and got on my way! (Checking I had not just been pick pocketed!) Only to be followed into the shop later with another story – his friend who just happens to be the president’s son saw us talking and apparently wanted a picture of me – I explained I was doing my shopping and would like to be left in peace – he left telling me he’d wait for me outside –Brilliant! - I spent as long as possible wandering the aisles of a fairly small shop (there’s only so long you can do that for without starting to look dodgy and suspicious yourself!). I paid for my shopping and tried to discreetly make a bit of a run for it (well a fast walk) I didn’t get far before he was shouting after me “hey English” he caught up with me and pleaded with me to have a photo with his friend so he could get a job, I politely declined (bearing in mind Mtwapa has a thriving sex trade, I had visions of me being the new face for some seedy bar or as some pimps new income!) I told him how unlikely it was his friend was the president’s son and how if he was his friend he would just give him the job- he then proceeded to point out his friend who was also following me! Now I kid you not this guy look like a vagrant, I have absolutely nothing against tramps and I don’t know much about Kenyan politics but what I do know is they are corrupt and generally take all the money for themselves rather than putting it back into the country! (So rather like British politicians!) So I’m guessing they are not likely to be wearing a ripped shirt buttoned up wrong, only have 2 front yellow teeth, be walking the streets of Mtwapa on their own, and be wearing car tyres for shoes!! Anyway I pretty much explained this to the guy now trying to hold me hostage by physically grabbing my arm which only made me more determined not to get entangled in the façade! He continued to become very persistent and his grip tightened on my arm! As I was threatening to hit him with my mop, if he did not let go of me he told me “me and you are like brother and sister” ‘Hell no!!! We are far from that thank you.’  By this point he/I was making quite a scene so a car pulled up with some very kind Asian men who told him in no polite terms to do one!! I eventually escaped his grasp and he had the cheek to tell me “you have let me down, English girls are nice girls and you don’t want me to get a job”. I with my mop and bucket left feeling no remorse!!!

So this week I start work – well meetings etc. so I’m not sure I’m going to have much to write about for a while … we shall see!!!

Final thought …….

5 things I am missing from home (apart from people)

1.       Food – Garthway bacon butties, chicken parmo, fajitas, chocolate, and cheese to name a few!!

2.       Television – Sad I know

3.       A proper working shower

4.       My IPhone - a Nokia 1800 doesn’t cut it

5.       A washing machine/microwave (technically 2 but thought they both came under appliances??)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Part 2

Well didn’t think I’d be writing for a while as I knew there wasn’t much planned for us this week, however I’m quickly becoming to realise that Stephanie Goodall – living in Kenya - there’s always going to be story or trauma ha!!

Only been here 5 days and it is overwhelming how welcoming everybody is, wherever you go locals always say hello/welcome (Jambo/Karibu) some then do try to sell you something but generally everyone just wants you to feel welcomed and I guess it is polite to speak to people– they would certainly have a shock if they visited London, where people don’t speak to anyone ever! your lucky if you get a grunt!!!!

You’ll be all pleased to know that since my first traumatic night of bug fest, nights have calmed down massively and I haven’t seen or heard any large creatures in my room at night, they could obviously just sense my nerves the first night.  However a couple did jump out of my cutlery draw on Tues night and I did return home on Mon to find a Gecko on my wall!!! Apparently they are good things to have as they eat all the bugs, but it’s still not nice thinking of where it could turn up so I chased it across the wall with a broom – I don’t know how it got in or how/if it got out but I at least didn’t have to look at it anymore.  

I’ve come to realise that with my flat I get a personal alarm clock in the form of a cockerel!!! Really annoying – starts at 6ish – sure it will be helpful in term time though!! Every cloud!

Had a meeting at my school all seems lovely I have 7 students in my year 10 GCSE group which is a lot compared to the 2 in year 11! It was very surreal they have something called a ‘Banda’ (I think) which is like a really small covered patio area – it’s tiny but apparently the whole school sits underneath it to eat their lunch! Really puts in to perspective how small the school is! We stood looking at the facilities for a while and were suddenly surrounded by monkeys.  I can only imagine the numbers increasing during term time when there is food and waste etc., definitely something to keep an eye on but I’m still fascinated by them (apparently that wears off).

I have had a few exploring ventures this week, firstly we got taken through Mtwapa (an interesting journey in itself) but we were shown good little market stalls for fruit and veg the one we were recommended was a lady called Katherine she calls me ‘staf’ but she was lovely. I got 5 passion fruits, 2 slices of pineapple, garlic and an orange all for about 50p it’s ridiculous!

After my successful guided trip to the market I decided it was time to venture out on my own, I had been told that there was a small, local beach about 10 mins up the road, I had enquired if it was easy to find – yes, was it safe – yes, could I sit with my ereader without getting mugged – yes!! Excellent, the weather was beautiful so I thought why not! So I packed my bags and off I went – I mean how hard could it really be!!!!

Yes you guessed it – EXTREMELY hard, now let’s not lose the point, I did end up at A beach I just don’t think I ended up at the THE beach that i was supposed to!! The 10 min walk was turning into 40 and everyone I asked assured me I was going in the right direction, I was definitely amongst local Kenyans. I passed houses, went through a forest, building areas, chickens, cows, more local houses, more chickens, I had turned that many corners I was beginning to worry I wouldn’t find my way back, bearing in mind I don’t actually have an address and I didn’t currently have a working Kenyan phone!!! Anyway I eventually, in stifling heats arrived at the beach, well I did have to wade through dry seaweed (which would have gone up to my waist if I had of stepped on the wrong area) just to get to the tiny bit of sand!! There was no-one on the beach which only confirmed that I was definitely not on the lovely, local family beach I had been told about!!! I stayed approximately 5 minutes then panicked I wouldn’t be able to find my way home – which I couldn’t!! I did contemplate a motorbike taxi at one point but 1. I have no address and 2. They don’t have licences!! I eventually remembered the name of a restaurant not far from my flat so used that for directions and found my way home! Phew!!

My next traumatic experience was washing!! Obviously there are no washing machines here so everything has to be hand washed!!My usual hand washing tactic is to leave it in my laundry bag until I’m going home to my parents then ask my mum “Can you help me hand wash this at some point, I’m not sure what I’m doing so can you show me” which normally means by Sunday when I’m leaving it’s, washed, dried, ironed and ready to go!!! Spoilt I know! But I managed to wash a few items I’m still waiting to determine if I actually got the soap out!!

Oh and the gecko that was in my flat …. I found it ….. I tried getting it to run out the door …..Even kicked its tail a little bit …… it looked a bit pale ….IT WAS DEAD!!!!! I then had the horrible task of getting a dead gecko out my flat with a broom!!! Again think it’s the DOOM spray it apparently kills everything!!!! Hmm might try it on the cockerel!!

Well today is Thurs and I think I had my hardest day yest!! The weather was poor, I was stuck in my flat with no mobile, and I could hear a creature somewhere in my shelving unit but in my pathetic state did not dare look for it! (apparently could be wood terminates inside my cupboards as anything else would definitely be dead by now with the amount of doom I have sprayed in there!) I spent most the afternoon crying but did get to watch an episode of Emmerdale that I had downloaded, only problem being I started downloading it on Mon (Mondays episode) by the time it had downloaded I’d missed more episodes ha! Anyway I had been told that wed night was “volleyball” which is in Nyali apparently every weds a group of expats and some Kenyans get together – some guys play volleyball, everyone has a drink and then goes on for food. It was obviously a bit intimidating initially but I was lucky I had been taken along by 2 girls who have lived here for a year so they introduced me to everyone etc.  We went to an Indian for a very cheap tea and then on to the casino!!! Was just what I needed!

So today I felt brave and decided it was time to experience a ‘Matatu’ which is a local mode of transport, it’s a cross between a mini bus and a taxi, generally overcrowded with loud music and terrible driving skills – it cost me 30bob to get to the supermarket in Nyali which is about 20p – Ridiculous, although I did have to share my seat with some kind of air compressor machinery and half a sweaty guy but hey it was 20p I was not complaining!!. I finally managed to get a phone that works and made my way home safely!! A trauma free trip I was very pleased with myself – even treated myself to a bounty chocolate bar not quite the same but almost! I’ve then spent the rest of the day sunbathing by the pool seen as how the weather was so nice. I definitely suffer from that SAD!!

Final thought ‘I’m starting to realise that there is no such thing as feeling clean here!!’

Xxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxX

First Impressions

After a long flight and a 2 hour wait for a visa I got to see Nairobi by night as I was taken to a hotel, unfortunately not a lot to see but it was clear the roads are in need of a resurface!!

I had been warned that Nairobi can be cold at night so I had come prepared, however nothing could really prepare me for how cold it actually was, I was thinking Africa and it was more like the Antartic. I was starting to think I’d picked the wrong continent for my sunny adventure!! Anyhow in the morning I headed back to the airport in my thermals with my driver ‘Steve’. Baring in mind it was only 7am hundreds of people lined the streets all walking/running in the same direction, my driver explained that they were all people from the local slums in kibera who would walk approximately 20km to find work - many making the 20km journey back home again empty handed and hungry!! my first culture shock!

I arrived at the airport in plenty of time, again to be met with more queues, I was quickly realising Africa requires the patience I don’t yet have!

I arrived in Mombasa safely but late something I think I will have to get used too! I was welcomed by my 2 new head teachers’ in their shorts and shades to be informed its actually pretty much winter in Mombasa!! “yesss!!!! This is more like it”. On the way to my flat I was taken on a bit of a tour of Mombasa none of which I can remember but I do know that there is no such thing as road rage in Kenya everything is fair game so people just go with whatever which does mean people just pulling out in front of you or overtaking in any position!! Think I might hold off driving for a while.

I’ve seen my school which looks lovely - very cute, small school with thatched roofs and a lovely swimming pool, and on my way to my flat I saw my first monkey again very cute but from a distance apparently - they are literally ‘cheeky little monkeys’ and thieve and bite!! So no pet monkey like Ross from Friends for me then L

My flat is much bigger than I thought 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen and living room but the amazement wore off slightly when I took a shower under a dribble of cold water!!!! Excellent!!!

Within the first 5 hours of being here I had internet, a new sim card, I’d eaten in a lovely Italian restaurant, been to the supermarket, seen the beach and also seen 5 monkeys, a camel and about 60 goats!! Just a normal day then!!!

My first night was definitely the most traumatic thing so far, I had been busy all day and buzzing about everything, I unpacked sat down to chill and realised how much time TV kills after about 25 games of spider solitaire and 50 games of mahjong I decided an early night was in order!! Well an early night I did not get, to start with I had to learn to sleep with the fan on to stop mosquitos settling but it makes so much noise it makes you think your hearing things, I then had monkeys fighting outside and screeching but worst of all I’m a prisoner in my own bed under a big mosquito net, and still petrified to death!! I went a bit OTT with the fly spray which choked me, little things managed to by-pass the mosquito net and crawl into bed with me and I kid you not the biggest beetle-cockroache thing with wings somehow managed to get in my room I have no idea how there was no way I was sleeping with that in my room mosquito net or no mosquito net!! In the first hour in my bed I must of got up to kill creatures about 14 times after a few tears I managed to convince myself to go to sleep – I actually slept like a baby and when I woke up there were no creatures in my bed and my room looked pretty clear- they were obviously just toying with me the little blighters!!! Although when I pulled back the mosquito net and saw all the dead animals on my floor I realised I’d obviously just choked them all on insect spray!!! Excellent!!

Then out for lunch to another Italian restaurant today with a whole heap of people from school which filled the day nicely and everyone seems lovely, just these long night times to fill – I will have to find a hobby. Got my first meeting in school tomorrow so hopefully will know a little more.

Right I’m signing off for now I’m sure I have bored you enough already final thought 5 biggest changes/culture shocks:

1 – Bedtime bug fest!!!!

2 – seeing monkeys, goats and chickens roaming the streets

3 - brushing my teeth without using a tap as you can only use bottled water

4 – The fact im wearing a vest top and shorts in winter!!

5 – Night time boredom! L

Xxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxx