Monday 14 January 2013

Part 13- Festive fun and a few run ins with the law!


Happy New Year!! I think I should have perhaps made my new year’s resolution to make more of an effort with my blog!! Maybe I’ll make that a late addition!

Well apologies again for my poor performance in 2012, I find very little time to sit indoors, with my laptop burning my legs, whilst sweat runs down to my feet! However I do have a few tales to share from the festive period! Hopefully I will start to write shorter more frequent blogs J

As many of you may be aware …… I WAS BRAVE!!!! I got my first tattoo (only tattoo – sorry mum and dad) much to my dad’s disapproval, his very words were  ...’I thought you had more bloody sense’ clearly not, sorry dad. I decided that, 1. I have been boring my whole life and never rebelled, 2. When I’m 80 no-one will see me naked and my boobs may be down to my waist by then anyway so even I won’t be able to see it and 3. I need to prepare myself for child birth by indulging in painful experiences!!! I did not expect for one of those experiences to be a full body massage!!!! Many people opt for a massage to relax them, take away stress and leave them feeling refreshed! Apparently by asking them to smooth our knots this signed me up for; feeling excruciating pain whilst she massaged giant knots out of my ankles!!! Yes ANKLES people! Followed by knots in my thighs, buttocks, lower back, upper back and shoulders. I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever experienced pain quite like it! I was nearing the point of feeling faint. I have never felt so pathetic in my whole life; I could barely walk to the car park never mind drive! This then made me question both having children and getting a tattoo – how could I possibly cope with the pain. I spent the next week preparing myself and decided to just enquire with the guy that I had been recommended – I text him stating I wanted a tattoo, but wasn’t sure exactly what or where, as there were 2 I liked, I stated my concern about the pain and whether or not we would need a consultation…. 5 minutes later I had an appointment for a 1 hour tattoo the next day at 9am!! At least this gave me minimal time to back out. I arrived for my appointment and continued to display my concern about the pain, the guy helped me design the tattoo I looked through 35 pages of fonts just to make sure and checked and checked again that I had made no spelling mistakes!! Can you imagine! My besties from back home sent me some encouraging pictures of tattoos in the local area which filled me with ….. I’d like to say inspiration but to be honest … dread! Many looked like a child had been let loose with a needle. I decided this was a good time to ask the tattoo artist how he trained-bearing in mind this is Kenya, probably not the best question to be asking whilst he’s shaving my body (making me feel like some kind of silverback) in preparation, particularly when his response was ‘Well you would normally do an internship or something but this is Kenya so I bought myself a tattooing for dummies type book created in the 70’s and taught myself!!’ I think he saw the sheer horror in my face so attempted to reassure me. ‘I started 8 years ago and my first tattoo was ok, I mean I’m loads better now but the customer never complained!’ I was curious to how you learn tattooing surely you need something to practice on and as he has just said this is Kenya, apparently he has 7 sisters and practiced on all of them, therefore there are probably at least 7 girls walking around Kenya with extremely dodgy tattoos. Anyway I felt I had come too far to turn back. I lay on the couch and prepared myself for torture, knowing that if I flinch I could end up like one of his sisters. Fortunately I am hard as nails and managed to lie still throughout, I must admit it was not a pleasant experience and in parts bloody painful but I was happy with the end result! I choose the quote a year ago and researched hundreds of others but felt this one suited my lifestyle the best and reflected exactly how I feel about my family and friends back home.

Christmas was a bit weird this year, my flat mate had jetted off for a 4 week holiday in South Africa and Alex could only be here for Christmas day, so I kept myself busy playing Mother Teresa at charity events and had the pleasure of visiting an orphanage called New Lights to deliver some food and gift donations. It was a very humbling experience and something I would like to continue to support. The home consisted of 26 boys all without parents but receiving a fantastic education making them all so ambitious and driven. The children were delighted to receive books and games and were so grateful to have had them donated. So next time you’re throwing anything out bear me in mind J

Christmas day was fantastic, Alex arrived Christmas eve so we had dinner and crawled into bed to wait for Santa, I read him the book ‘Twas the night before Christmas’ and sang Christmas songs J (much to his disapproval). We had a champagne breakfast on Christmas morning (another new tradition – along with the book readingJ) and then opened our presents, I was thrilled to receive a new camera lens off Alex, and I now have a much greater zoom range and can’t wait to try it out on safari. We were fortunate enough to receive an invite for a group Christmas at the same place I went last year, great people, great setting, great food and amazing weather. We spent the whole day in the pool, drinking, eating a traditional Christmas dinner, mince pies the lot. Then more drinking in the pool. Topped off with the nicest bloody Marys on Boxing Day produced by a great host – thanks Tania!

Alex left on boxing day which gave me 4 full days to do nothing but watch 24 – it is ridiculous how many episodes I managed to get through- by the 4th day I was starting to believe I was a special agent myself, driving like a manic, weaving through traffic – it was time to go cold turkey!. Fortunately New Year was just around the corner and there was a group of us travelling to Watamu for a new year’s eve/day party. Alex arrived at 11.30pm so was promptly pushed out the door with a shot of vodka and a beer to head to the party before midnight. I was relatively sober when I left the house, I remember the countdown, and then very little after that! I have a sneaky suspicion the reason for this was my tipsy Skype session with Mrs East, who felt it appropriate to make me join in her drinking games, bearing in mind I have no way of knowing if she is cheating … and of course she was!!! I have never in my life been told to down 5 fingers of drink, mainly because you only have 4 fingers to measure with, whilst holding the glass but I was by this stage unaware and just downed it anyway – after this the night is a blur, I do recall speaking to a Korean man who I was calling my brother because we had similar surnames, I rocked the dance floor during Gangnam style then at 4.15am demanded a kebab (which I have never had/found after a night out) fortunately Alex is a legend and drove us to this place that can only be described as food poison wrapped up in plastic bags and zebra print! I was drunk and I quite frankly didn’t care what I ate – luckily my insides are now like steel and survived the possible tragic illness the next day J which meant we could wake up and start the party again on New Year’s day!!

I am still working through my ever growing bucket list and have managed to tick off getting a tattoo and smoking a cigar over the Christmas holidays, my flight to Nairobi got upgraded but I hardly think that classes as first class so that could be the next on my list, that or owning a pair of Louboutin shoes J not much need for them in Kenya though. Travel is definitely taking over the list, so many places I want to see in the world. I have decided that if I stay one more year in Kenya then I need to see more of Africa I’ve been pretty rubbish so far! Although I did have my first Nairobi trip at the start of the hols without travelling for 10 hours on a school bus! Alex and I decided we should try and meet in Nairobi, as for one of us to travel for a visit for a weekend is just not feasible between Uganda and Mombasa. So we had our first trip, I met lots of his friends, we went to Giraffe manor, met with some old Mombasa friends for lunch, went on a game drive and had the nicest salad I have ever had, at Karen Golf Club. We have our next visit planned for Feb where we hope to drive up to Naivasha – another first for me.

I have to admit I have had a few run ins with the Law recently – I think it’s quite easy to become complacent here especially when it comes to driving. I think at one point or another I have quite possibly broken every driving law (although I actually only know about 4) my first infringement came at the airport when I was kindly taxiing Alex to the Airport, I drove in blissfully unaware of any rules, followed a car through some bollards, which did not faze me in the slightest- apparently nor did the zebra crossing I was driving on. Alex thought this would be a good moment to point out my fault to which I responded in a comedy voice ‘ooh I broke the rules, but who’s gona stop meeeee!!! Feeling very smug I hopped out of my car to the feet of a police officer – apparently he was there to stop me, he was all for taking me to his office and “fining” me apparently. ‘Sorry I just followed the car in front’ is not a good enough reason. ‘Madame you were not reading the signs of the road!’ again pointing out that there actually weren’t any signs did not work in my favour! Luckily Alex came to my rescue and smoothed it over with some Swahili chat. However I was convinced he would wait for me to come back to my car, so I walked rather inconspicuously back to my car and dashed out the car park – ensuring I did not drive through any ‘no entry’ signs!

My second run in came in the centre of town, where I should of known better – town is usually rife with police officers attempting to control traffic, I was approaching the centre from out of town having a quick chat with my house mate arranging some plans- I had thought to myself ‘ I should probably try to end this conversation before I reach town, but before I knew it I was in town and just as I saw the back of one policeman in slow motion I started to drop my phone but simultaneously  interlocked eye contact with another!! NOOOOOOOOO I was still in with a chance the back police man was controlling the traffic of the roundabout I was entering the roundabout all I needed was for him to continue to allow the flow of traffic from my direction, but no of course he had to stop it, as the eye clocking policeman marched over to my car, he started to do some hand signalling which I took to mean you may drive off, so started to proceed- apparently I read that situation wrong as he yelled at me to stop. The conversation then went a bit like this: Policeman: Madame why do you think it is ok to talk on your phone when driving? Me: (frantically trying to think of a feasible excuse) Erm I don’t I’m really sorry. Policeman: Why were you talking on your phone? Me: Erm I don’t know, I’m really sorry. Policeman: It is not ok! Me: I know I am really sorry – AWKWARD SILENCE – Me: (smiling sweetly) I am really sorry I won’t do it again! Policeman: Do not talk on your phone when driving! Me: I won’t I promise – as he waves me on – Phew! There are only 2 possible reasons for the lack of bribery required and they are, either my smiling sweetly was HIGHLY effective or (which is more likely) he decided that the central lane of a roundabout surrounded by people was not a good place to practice corruption!! Either way, happy days and a lesson learnt!

I have also had my first tourist experience in a long time, and finally visited town rather than just driving through it, I had an educational tour of Fort Jesus, and although it was possibly not as exciting as I had anticipated it was great to learn some history.

Despite having many future plans to discuss I feel this is an appropriate point to leave before it turns into a book!

Final thought: ‘I am challenging myself to find an activity/hobby to grasp my attention, commitment and motivation. I have one exciting prospect lined up this week – I shall keep you informed’

 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Steph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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